A Seemingly Small, Yet Immeasurably Impactful Change

One of the first things I came to awareness in my journey up from rock bottom was the cycles I would get stuck in where I was calling myself names, judging myself harshly, and replaying scenes in my mind repeatedly torturing myself with guilt and regret. I stumbled onto two books during this time that I found immensely helpful- “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg and “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown. I read them both, searching for help to shift the way I thought about and spoke to myself.

Needless to say, I cried a lot during this time. Certain phrases would strike me and cause emotions to flow. The books helped bring an awareness to how I viewed myself and talked to myself. I talked to myself in a way I would never talk to anyone. I called my self stupid, idiot, silly. Told me self, “What the fuck is your problem?” or “Who do you think you are?”

So, if you find yourself doing these same things, start by replacing the language. I highly recommend the books I mentioned earlier, but here are some alternatives I’ve used to myself and to others around me.

Changing the language I use has brought me much more peace and calm. It is something that I continue to work at and need to choose to do everyday. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it.