Yollotl

As I open myself more deeply to the world, a quest to heal bits of me that have been left behind, I am taken on a walk through moments that send me to the past as I encounter a thorn, a piercing that has been left untended. My heart racing, remembering in body where a part of my soul was left in shame or fear or sadness. And in body, I choose to see them again, I bring them back to me. I bring them back to me where I cradle and comfort them, these pieces of my soul. I release the cord that has bound them to the past so that I may become more whole. I pull the thorn from within my heart, tear another block down from the wall. I no longer wish to hide, but only time will tell if I have the courage and strength to make my thoughts my actions.

I try my hardest to forgive so that my heart is no longer a guarded, shriveled shadow of what it could be. This discomfort of seeing the past with new eyes is worth it to feel my heart grow. Even if it is small, it is like a piece of my body, soul and spirit woven together where before it had been torn. To feel the tear be filled with love not pain, woven together with kind and understanding hands. To mend my tapestry so I may better serve all beings around me.

It is great beauty and great responsibility to able to feel the tears and edges. The deepest love and the deepest sorrow, for once my heart is open, it must all be felt in turn. To deny one and not the other is to again leave pieces of myself to the past.

I breathe, I watch my son sleep, feeling the deep love inside me grow. I breathe, I see the rain fall and the trees grow and the flowers bloom, feeling the deep love inside me grow. I breathe, I see the cycle of aging and of death, feeling the deep love inside me grow. I breathe, I see the beauty that is life now.